Learning Love

I thought being needed was love but that equation creates a loop that isn't solvable.

being needed:
I look for perceived needs and fill them, I have to keep filling to feel love, but then I get exhausted. Then I don't feel appreciated and that turns to resentment and then that turns to guilt and lack so then I need to be needed and it starts all over again.

I need to be needed = love
The other person needs to satisfy my need to be loved. 

Read that again.  

It feels like love because filling their need actually satisfies my need to be needed.

I think being needed is love!!

This epiphany washed over me.  Magically I now see their needs as their need. Period. 

Take a beat. Assess. Just because they 'need' doesn't mean I have to fill that need. Is it mine to fill? Is it someone else's? Is it realistic?

I can monitor my giving.  And now I am forming a healthy boundary. I can show love and not over give.  

Full circle:  The people that love me but don't need me I could not see.  
I could not see the people who didn't need me because that didn't register as love. Because I learned to believe that LOVE looked and felt like being needed and me fulfilling that need. 

I am now understanding love as something much more calm and peaceful.